Kami

Expecting # 6 in August!

2012-01-02T15:21:00.001-08:00

Yeah, we're pretty excited.

I'm astounded by You

2012-01-02T13:38:00.000-08:00

I am in awe and astounded by God's love for us. I was reading to my kids today about how God came down to us. I can't believe He became a man, a baby just to reach us and to save us. He didn't have to do this. He could've just scratched us out, but you see this is not who God is. He is a God who saves, who woos, who rescues, who redeems, who loves relentlessly. This is who God is. God, words cannot describe how wonderful You are.

My Prayer

2011-05-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

This was a prayer that I had when I was talking to God today:

Father I ask that You would become more important than:

*A clean house

*What people think of me

*Facebook

*Food & sweets

*Being a successful Mom, wife, friend, daughter, and sister

That one day You will be enough for me.

You see every lover has its price. Who is your lover and what price are they making you pay?

God's price is that He asks for my whole heart. I was made for this.

The really cool thing is that He is faithful. I already see this beginning.

Journey to Israel part 2

2010-12-20T08:16:00.000-08:00

Alright, here is the second part you've all been waiting for.

I think I left off telling you about our first day, which our first few days feel like a blur with getting used to the time change and not to mention a bit of culture shock.

The place we're staying in is perfect for us. It's an apartment that looks pretty old. It has 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, and a dining/living room. This is just the space we need. It doesn't have a dishwasher, but does have a washing machine. I have to dry-hang the clothes. That's no big deal, but the funny thing is the dry lines are hanging suspended about 6 stories up. So if I drop one it's kind of a long way down. And it would become especially awkward if one of the clothes I dropped happen to catch on a neighbors line going down. But my first go at it proved to have no incidents. Our place is right on a main road where there's a lot of restaurants, a market (small grocery store), coffee shops and even a yogurt shop. So we've been exploring our options over the last few weeks. We've found some pretty tasty cuisine. I didn't think I was a fan of Mediterranean food but that's probably because I hadn't had it near the Mediterranean. The hummus is to die for. I've never had hummus that good. And the pita bread you dip it in is the best I've had too. Our place is a 5 min. walk to Jeremy & April's and a 10 min. walk to Stephen & Tiffany's. It's so nice to be able to walk to everything. You really can get places faster by walking then driving. It's how it was meant to be I think. So we go to the local market every few days to stock up and we'll probably end up going to the bigger/central market once a week (more on that later).

So the first few days were spent recooperating and the Mowry's were kind enough to have us over for dinner multiple nights while this was happening. We've done a lot of parks just to get the kids out and about. Thursday we took a bus and went to the central market. This was a happenin' place. Everyone was getting ready for Shabbat. Everything (and I mean everything) shuts down from 5pm Fri. till 5pm Sat. So you have to get all you need done before then. This market we did a little food shopping, but we mostly were trying to figure it all out. It was pretty chaotic, but neat to see more of the culture. Friday night we went to the Western Wall (Wailing Wall) because every Fri. night its the happening place. I guess its how the Jewish people get ready for Shabbat. There was a lot of dancing and a lot of crowds. It was definitely a sight to behold. It was really cool to see the unity in these people. Complete strangers yet bonded together by millenias of history. It was also a somber sight to see people coming to this wall that has so much history for them and then just beyond the wall is this huge, beautiful mosque. Just the day before this I was reading in Lamentations 5. And in there the author is talking about how their land is being taken over by foreigners. It's crazy to see that, that hasn't changed for these people. (Afterwards, we headed back to Jeremy & April's for a Shabbat meal and gathering/worship time. That was refreshing.)

But a lot is changing. I feel like God has us hear for a reason. And Ben and I are beginning to feel like there might be some longevity in this. We have no idea how or what or when. But we are planning on taking a crash course in Hebrew over the next several weeks. That should be interesting. Jeremy & April and Stephen & Tiffany have done this and we are ready to jump on board. We feel like taking this step is a good way to engage the culture here. We are actually starting tomorrow. Ben and I each will do 3 hours 5 days a week. One of us will do morning while the other will do afternoon. It is one on one, which is good. I know it will be challenging, but I'm excited to get some bearing on the language. I know it will make me feel less frustrated and isolated. Don't worry I know I'm not going to be able to speak it in the next few weeks, but at least we're on a trajectory.

One cool thing we did Sat. night was to attend a Messianic Jewish church. This was pretty neat to see and experience. The pastor and his wife there seemed really cool. He was from the States, but had been in Israel now for 19 years. I believe his wife is Israeli. I'm sure it would be cool to get connected with them more.

What we've been doing so far is getting enough food for breakfast and lunch for several days and then usually going out on the town for dinner. So far we have 2 places we really like to eat at that were recommended to us by Stephen. We need a few more so we don't burn out on these places. We might go exploring tonight to see if we can find another. The kitchen's have to be kosher so it's a bit difficult to cook in them how we would normally do it.

So this next week will look pretty different with the language studies, but it'll be nice to get in some kind of rhythm/routine. I'm still doing some school with the kids. We'll see how I can balance that with the language studies. Man, it's crazy to be doing these language studies. It will be like being back in school again. That's kind of a head trip, but I guess this whole experience is. Alright, well I'm sure I'll be writing a 3rd part to all of this. I'll probably have quite a bit to tell by the end of this week. Another side note: It does not feel like Christmas at all! I have to remind myself that it's just this weekend. Tiffany and I were just talking about this and she feels the same way. I miss some things back home especially because of this. So if you have any Christmas cheer to send my way, I'll gladly receive it. Thanks for reading and caring about us.

Our family's journey to Israel part 1

2010-12-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd post this on here for my fellow blog readers. Our family decided to go to Israel for a month. We felt like God was leading us here. There are some fellow believers here that need some support. And there seems to be some doors that God is opening up for a ripe harvest here. We don't know yet exactly what we're doing, but we are following the Holy Spirit in all of this.

It was a loooong journey to get here that's for sure. We ended up taking 3 planes to get here. Our first stop was in Memphis. That was a 5 hour plane ride. But our longest plane ride was yet to come. We quickly boarded our plane heading to Amsterdam. This flight took about 10 hours I think. We watched a lot of movies :) That helped pass the time. Once we got into Amsterdam it was our night but Amsterdam's morning. So, needless to say we were a wee bit tired. And we planned a 9 hour lay-over there;) hmmmm still wondering if that was worth it. We found a Children's Museum that was neat for the kids. We probably spent a few hours here. Then we went to a coffee shop where we were to meet a couple of Ben's clients for Epipheo. I know funny. Well these nice people picked a candle lit atmospheric coffee shop where the youngest people there were probably in there 40's. We got there first waiting for them to arrive and within 10 min. all 4 of our kids were completely passed out. We were quite the scene. Ben's clients arrived and we had a nice chat with them over some dinner and coffee. We had to take the kids sandwiches to go. We woke (mostly) the biggest three up and dragged them to the taxi that was waiting to take us to the airport. We got to the airport and ended up carrying Memory all the way through customs. It was quite a task, but finally we all got there and got through that and bunked out in the waiting/holding area until our plane was ready to board. Most of us ended up taking a nap here as well. Memory woke up, though. Bright as a clam. Good timing. Within a half an hour a hundred Israeli people came around us and sat with us waiting to board the plane.

In this moment I all of a sudden had a swell of emotion thinking about these people-God's chosen people who were lost. I felt like in that moment I felt an inkling of what God felt for these people. It was an emotion of compassion, sorrow, loss, and mercy. It was very sudden and quick and gone in a blink of an eye, but very powerful for me to experience. I believe God was helping me connect with what I was about to experience in Israel.

Well, we boarded the plane and Eden had a total and complete emotional melt down. This was difficult for me. I believe it was really good for me. Because I am too worried about what other people think and in this moment I had to think of what my daughter needed and what us as a family needed not just saving face for a bunch of strangers. Of course Eden had to sit in back of the one lady on the plane that had a problem with her emotional melt-down. She called a flight attendant over and speaking in maybe Arabic I don't know, pointed to Eden and probably was asking if she can shut this kid up. Eden wasn't being incredibly loud but it was definitely noticeable that she was crying. The flight attendant came over and was looking for her parents. Ben told her we were right here behind her and the flight attendant told the lady "What do you want me to do. She is crying and the parents are right there. What's the problem?" It was kinda funny. So we definitely ruined this lady's first hour of flight and mine. But like I said this was a good thing for me. I had to keep telling myself that this was her (the lady's) problem and not mine. This flight was only 4 and a half hours, but once we got there we were like the night of the living dead. We got our bags and got some gelato. This was 4am Israel time. We boarded a van/taxi thing that every seat was filled. All six of us piled in the pack of the van. To put it short this 40 min ride to our house we were to stay in was a ride from hell compared to the last 30 hours of travel. And that's saying a lot! This guy drove like a maniac speeding around corners and stopping and going really fast over bumps. All of us were starting to feel nausious by the end. Mercifully, we were the third to get dropped off out of like eight. He dropped us off and we weren't even sure if this was the right place. Ben went to go find out and I was with the kids and the luggage. I then proceeded to drop on all fours and felt like I was going to throw up but was trying to keep it together. Dove asked if I was okay. "Yeah, I'm okay." In a few minutes I was feeling better and Ben came back and told us that this was it. Praise God!!! was all I could say.

We crashed for about 4 hours and woke up to Stephen and Tiffany knocking on our door. They were going to take us to the old city which is about a 15 min. walk from our house. This was good because we needed to stay up during the day to help get adjusted to the new time. They took us all over and it was really neat. We saw the Western Wall and went and ate in old town Jerusalem. By about 5pm I and the rest of us hit a wall. We managed to stay up until 9 and put the kids down around 8. That first night was a little difficult with all of us waking up around 4 wondering if it was time to wake up. It wasn't so we all forced ourselves back to sleep.

Anyways, this is getting really long so if you want more let me know and I'll email a part 2 of the last few days here in Jerusalem. But all in all it has been really neat to be here. And I'm excited about what God has in store for us to be apart of.

And then there were 5

2010-06-10T14:14:00.000-07:00

That's right, I'm pregnant and soon to be the owner of 5 children! Ben and I feel so blessed! God's timing is perfect. I'm due sometime Feb. 2. I had horrible morning sickness with Memory and that hasn't started yet. I've just had pretty minor sickness. So here's hoping it stays that way.

This timing is kind of crazy because when we found out we were pregnant a few weeks ago, Ben said, "We were just getting this 4 kids thing down." So just when you get too comfortable God shakes things up a bit. I think both Ben and I had resigned and moved on from having another child at this point. So to be given this was quite a shock. A good shock, though.

My Prayer

2009-12-16T11:49:00.001-08:00

I want to have this be my prayer every day. I got this from the Crazy Love book that I'm reading. Which is awesome and you should read it. It really puts life into perspective.

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied
me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious
of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of
desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long
to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee
indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to
my soul, 'Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.'
Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this
misty lowland where I have wandered so long."
A.W. Tozer The Pursuit of God

On Permanent Marker, Repentance, and Intimacy

2009-12-09T14:55:00.000-08:00

This happened last night and I wanted to share the email that Ben wrote to a few family and friends. It's a pretty powerful and moving story of God's grace in our lives.

This week I have been lost in thinking about repentance and fostering an intimate lasting relationship with our kids.

Tonight was one of the craziest nights in our families history. We had already put the kids to bed and Dove came into the room crying to talk to Kami and I. She told us that she had drawn on the wall with a permanent marker and had blamed Seven so he had gotten in big trouble. She was referring to an incident that had happened about 4 years ago. More than half of her lifetime. She was crying and she said that, that was "before she knew how serious of a job it was for her to be a leader" in looking out for her younger brothers and sister. It was at this point, that I started to cry. She said that today God had told her that she needed to tell us about the truth "before she got any older." We got Seven out of bed and Dove had the chance to apologize to her brother. Together we prayed and thanked God for the grace he has given us. Seven does not remember getting spanked. But tonight Dove will sleep better in her repentance and acceptance of God's Grace.

******
Ben Crawford

Ps. You can see the marker in the pic that has long since been painted over.

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What God's been teaching/showing me

2009-12-04T13:28:00.001-08:00

11/20/09 Taken from my journal:
I know now one of the reasons we have not been given a fifth child. My will needed to be broken. I wanted that child so much that I really didn't care what God wanted for me. God had to break my will and make my will His will. I needed to be shown this. I now want and desire what God wants. Whatever that may be. I was finding my identity in having children. And having them whenever I wanted to. Ben wondered if he was the one who needed to be broken. It has taken almost a year for me to get to the place where Your will is better than my will. But more that that, my will has become Your will. I was holding onto my will so tightly. Thank you for Your mercy in revealing this to me.

Super-Star Christians?

2009-10-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

I was reading in Acts 14:1-7 today about a plot to beat up Paul & Barnabas. Paul and Barnabas? They were like super Christians and yet they were completely willing and even grateful to get physically beaten up for God. And then it dawned on me. Jesus did this. But He got it even worse. Hung on a tree for God.
I realized how I am so prideful. Ideally I could die for God, but do I actually welcome this? To become less so God can become greater? In my heart of hearts I want to become greater. I am a god to me. I am more important than God and His kingdom. Lets take this in lesser terms than getting beaten up and dying. How about ridiculed or seen as not so great. Not so popular. Not so smart. Not so talented. Not so pretty. These are the things that actually matter to me. I know Paul & Barnabas were just fallen humans like me and everyone else, but they were completely sold out! They didn't have things (idols) holding them back. Will I ever get there? And what exactly will sold out look like for me? Maybe not death, but maybe. Maybe uprooting my family and moving to Portland to help disciple another family for three months. I see growth in my life. I have a long way to go, but I do see growth. Where do you see growth in your life?

sisters

2009-09-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

This is a conversation I overheard between Dove & Eden the other day in the car:

Eden: "When we grow up and if we live together..."
Dove: (cuts in abruptly) "Oh, we will definitely live together! But I don't want to be one of those girls who is alone all the time like Uncle Nate who lives in that big house all by himself. I want to have a big family."

This was one of my proudest moments as a mother.

Keep the dream alive girls.

The life of Seven

2009-06-03T14:44:00.001-07:00

Today Seven asked me,"When I get older and become a girl then I can do school?"
I said, "Well when you get older and are still a boy you can do school."
He has said this with other things before. I think he thinks if only I can become a girl like my big sisters then the world will finally open wide for me. And all my dreams will come true. I will be able to do all the things they can do.
Sorry kid, not gonna happen. The girl part at least.

God's will is better than my will

2009-05-20T15:04:00.000-07:00

The other day I had a revelation. I want my will to be in-tune with what God's will is. I found myself dissatisfied with some things in my life. And then I stopped to think: well if this is what God wants than why am I dissatisfied? First of all He loves me and wants the best for me. Second of all He is faithful to give me His best. So why am I not trusting Him?

We are trying to conceive a 5th child. For a long time now I've pictured our family with 5 kids. About a year ago I found out I was pregnant. And during that first week God spoke to me. He said "in My time." I knew He was talking about us having another child. This comforted me at the time. Whenever I hear God's voice I'm comforted. But I didn't think too much about it at the time. A couple days later I miscarried. We've been trying since December and it's been really hard each month that goes by and I'm not pregnant. And I knew that this was testing my faith. But the other day I realized that I need to stop having my own agenda on things. I realized I finally wanted what God wanted. And if that means another child then awesome. If it doesn't then awesome. Because He is good and He is trustworthy. He loves me and wants what's best for me. I am starting to believe this. I don't need to be depressed or dissatisfied any longer.

I am a daughter in His kingdom. I want to start acting like it. I want to desire what He desires for His kingdom.

"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you." Matthew 5:48 The Message

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are-no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought." Matthew 5:5 The Message

God is alive and active among us!

2009-05-14T16:48:00.000-07:00

Do I really believe this? I think sometimes I don't. And my life sometimes reflects this. Often, in fact. What if I really believed that God is among us? Every second of every day, He is there. He is present. And He is powerful. He is using His power in my life. Do I believe this? Sort of. Not really, but I want to. My life would look different if I believed this strongly. I know that much. What if I believed He had so much power and care that He can heal and is healing today? What if I believed that not only can He heal my heart, He could heal my body. He can make a lame man walk. And He is doing these things today. What if I believed this? He can make my broken heart whole. What if I believed He is doing this right now? I can actually testify to this.

This passage of Scripture is what stirred this up in me:

"Peter went off on a mission to visit all the churches. In the course of his travels he arrived in Lydda and met with the believers there. He came across a man-his name was Aeneas-wh0 had been in bed eight years paralyzed. Peter said, 'Aeneas, Jesus Christ heals you. Get up and make your bed!' And he did it-jumped right out of bed. Everybody who lived in Lydda and Sharon saw him walking around and WOKE UP TO THE FACT THAT GOD WAS ALIVE AND ACTIVE AMONG THEM." Acts 9: 32-35

We need to wake up! You who are called sons and daughters of the King wake up and see what He is doing in and around us!

Holy Spirit

2009-05-14T16:37:00.000-07:00

I am realizing that I don't believe the Holy Spirit can really help me. I think I can do a better job. That must be why I hardly ever call on the Spirit. That is why I have a hard time keeping in step with the Spirit. I think I can do a better job. This is my knee-jerk reaction. I usually don't even realize I am depending on myself. It comes so natural. I want depending on the Spirit to become natural to me. I want that to be my knee-jerk reaction. Only depending on the Spirit and not myself. I want to forget about myself and what I can do. How different my life would look then.

Help me, Father to start believing in the power of Your Spirit. And to stop believing that the power lies within me. That is a dead end street.

I wish this could change overnight, but I believe You are faithful to change me. You can change me. You are changing me.

Parenting

2009-05-14T16:11:00.000-07:00

I can't believe my first born is 8 years old. Time is such a funny thing. I don't think we can ever get used to it. I can definitely tell we weren't made for it.

Since reading Jeremy's blog (you can click on it on the right of my blog) post I have realized how much I don't think about intentionally training my children. It is sobering to realize I am training them one way or another whether I'm intending to or not. It's time to get more intentional. In fact, it's long overdue. It seems I go in either two modes of extreme: passively not caring or worrying if I'm doing the right thing. I realize I need to depend on the Spirit in everything and parenting is no exception. To realize I could be a party in my child's destruction is enough for me to get the gravity of the situation. Sometimes I feel so ill-equipped to train, but this doesn't mean I give up. God's Spirit will help me. Also, Ben seems to have gifts where I do not, so we need to lean and support each other more in parenting our kids. In the past when he had an insight into one of the kids and would correct some of my parenting I would get defensive and prideful, but I'm realizing that I need to seize that opportunity to learn to be a better parent. I need to see Ben as trying to support me, not trying to attack me.

I've been reflecting on these verses and put them up on my wall: Prov. 19:18 and Eph. 6:1-4; along with: "Kami, train your children, don't just control chaos." I need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit. I have all the tools I need. I'm not going to believe the lies that I'm not good enough and I'm not going to be able to train my children. God has given me all I need.

Living Water

2009-05-05T15:34:00.001-07:00

The following is a page taken from my journal written to God:
May 5, 2009
I keep running to all these things except You. Why do I do this? I know they won't satisfy. Or do I? It's been a difficult day and I turn to facebook. Pretty soon that's not enough so I go eat a donut. Sometimes I clean my house. What feelings am I running from? anxiousness, feeling overwhelmed, guilt
At least I'm coming to You now, but I want to stop going to those other things first. Father, please help me to stop running from You and turning to these other things. Help me stop believing the lies that these things will satisfy. They won't! Only You will satisfy. Help me to start believing this.

A woman, a Samaritan, came to draw water. Jesus said, "Would you give me a drink of water?"

The Samaritan woman, taken aback, asked, "How come you, a Jew, are asking me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?"

Jesus answered, "If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water."

The woman said, "Sir, you don't even have a bucket to draw with, and this well is deep. So how are you going to get this 'living water'? Are you a better man than our ancestor Jacob, who dug this well and drank from it, he and his sons and livestock, and passed it down to us?"

Jesus said, "Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst-not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life."

The woman said, "Sir, give me this water so I won't ever get thirsty, won't ever have to come back to this well again!"

John 4:7-15

I have this well of endless living water. Why am I not drawing from it?

Car conversation

2009-05-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

I was in the car today with Dove and Eden and this was the conversation:

Dove: I want a dove.
Eden: Well, I want a garden.

I wonder what Seven would've said if he was there.

Seven's Prayer

2009-05-01T23:47:00.000-07:00

This was Seven's prayer tonight:

Dear God,
Please help me protect my sisters,
help me protect my legos.
My legos belong to God.
Amen.

That's my boy...

2009-04-08T16:54:00.000-07:00

So Ben takes the kids on dates. Every time he takes Seven out he calls it "guys night out." Seven is very proud that he is the only one that gets this title. So today in the car he says to me, "Mama, can we have a guys night out?" Yeah, sometime we will. "Wait, I mean just a guys night out and a girls night out. I mean a guys night out. I mean a girl and a guy's night out." He was trying to figure out how to fit his Mama into "guys night out." I love that kid.

Changes

2009-03-24T23:48:00.000-07:00

This should be a theme from the last 2 years really. But the biggest change that's happening recently is Rainbow and Jeff moving out. They've lived with us for about 9 months. And they feel like God is directing them to get their own place. This change brings many conflicted feelings. I feel relieved yet overwhelmed. I feel excited yet sad. It has been such a blessing to have them live with us. The four of us are not the same people we were when they moved in. We have all grown a ton. I think it's awesome that we are closer friends now than before they moved in. That right there is a testimony of God's grace.
Rainbow did almost all of the homeschooling so now I'm going to shoulder that responsibility. This is where most of my overwhelmed feelings take place. I have a low confidence in my ability to teach my kids. But I know that this is a great opportunity to have to completely rely on the Holy Spirit. Cause I know I won't be able to do it on my own. Rainbow has such a gift for teaching kids so I know I have some big shoes to fill. But Ben reminded me that I'm their mother first. And that's the most important thing to them. It's still awesome to have Rainbow as a resource whenever I need her. Her and I are meeting daily to help set me up with the right curriculum for me and the girls. Plus she did all my cooking and laundry. (I know I was spoiled, but to my credit I did all the cleaning) Now that's going to take some adjusting!
I don't really feel like I was a very good friend to Rainbow while she was living with us. I'm hoping living apart will help me to be more intentional about our friendship. I think I had a hard time being honest with her. I definitely see this as more my issue than hers. I have a hard time being honest with people that I know have strong opinions and have a tendency to control. So not having the open communication created a lot of strain on our relationship. But I feel like things are definitely getting better. And as both her and I mature and become healthier people I see that happening all the more. At least they're not moving very far (within walking distance) and they will still be apart of our body church so I'll see them every week. But it'll be weird not living life together side by side. Do I even remember what my life looked like before they moved in? What does that verse say: as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another? I definitely felt like that was happening, even in our immaturity. Her and I are so different. I felt like I was able to learn a lot from her. Thank you Rainbow. You will be missed. (Sounds like you died or something;)

This is supposed to be raw...let's see how it goes

2008-12-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

I've been dealing with a lot lately. Where do I start? I've been realizing that I'm a pretty angry person. I do a good job either ignoring my anger or being oblivious to it. Ben and I got in a disagreement this morning and I got upset as usual because I wanted to "resolve" the issue right away and felt like he was distancing himself from me. I was losing control and that made me angry. This sort of thing has happened time and time again but this is the first time I recognized my emotion as anger.

So you may ask why am I seeing this now? Both Ben and I (more Ben than me) have been aggressively seeking help for our issues-addictions-idols. I'm realizing they're all the same thing. God made us to worship Him. And when that worship is misplaced through sin we naturally start worshipping something else. What do I worship? I think I worship the approval of men/women. I've always been a people-pleaser. But what I'm realizing now is that it's more than that. I've always wanted to please people because I want them to like me and see me in a good light. I believe this is linked to pride. I want people to see me as this awesome person. That's the long of the short of it. I want to point to myself instead of to Christ. So in a sense I'm worshipping myself. Wow, that's a lot of misplaced worship.

If you've read Ben's blog you would've picked up on that he's in SA (Sexaholics Anonymous).

He encouraged me to go to S-anon, which is the support group for spouses or loved ones of someone who is a sexaholic. Man, talk about crazy. I didn't want to go to these meetings. I thought it would be a lot easier to just go to a counselor (which I probably will still do at some point). But attending this meeting once a week has really been revolutionary for me. I just listen to story after story of people just like me. You mean I'm not unique in my problems? Nope. Not even close. Of course there are some differences, but at the root of it these people are worshiping the approval of others and themselves. Just like me.

So where does this leave me now? My previous post was about how I've been desiring God more and more. Well all this crap in my life only makes me want to seek an intimate relationship with God all the more. I don't want it apart of me anymore. I know it'll take time, but I believe God is doing something in me and healing me and making me whole. All for the purpose of getting back to true worship. Worshiping the one who created me. Who died for me so that I can be made whole. This is my hope. This is what I live for. To be continued...

"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears." Philippians 1:6 The Message

"But there's far more to life for us. We're are citizens of high heaven! We're waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthly bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He'll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him." Philippians 3:20-21 The Message

As the deer pants for streams of water...

2008-11-24T15:06:00.000-08:00

"As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?"

Psalm 42:1-2

I see glimmers of this in my life, but I want this kind of passion to consume my life.

I feel like I'm beginning to connect with God on a regular basis for the first time. And this kind of actually connecting with God is what is fueling my passion to want this, but I know I am still lacking so much. There is still so many other things that take precedence over God in my life. I want God to purge my life of these things. There is still a belief in me that these things (idols, really) are better somehow than God. I know in my head that's not true, but my heart still hasn't made the complete switch. I'm just thankful that my Father is so patient with me. Father, please use your Holy Spirit to consume me with passion for You.

7 is 4

2008-10-31T15:44:00.001-07:00

Dove recently blogged and this is what she wrote "7 is 4." Which is probably confusing to most people so let me translate. Dove's brother Seven just turned four years old. Poor boy is going to have a hell of a time when he turns seven years old. But he'll be old enough then to explain to people the difference between Seven and 7.

Speaking of my son Seven. He's a pretty funny kid and I just realized I need to start remembering the funny things my kids say every day and write them down. So the other day I had the three older kids in the back of the van, which I don't do that often because they are so close in proximity that they're bound to cause trouble with one another. Anyways, when we were getting in the car I told Seven that he'd better keep his hands in his lap. I also told him to buckle up. He said, " But you told me to keep my hand in my lap!" Oh right, I did, well buckle up first and then keep your hands in your lap. Seriously, Seven you pick the worse times to listen!

Real apple juice

2008-10-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

Ben's family owns an apple press. We try to go to Yakima every year and squeeze some apples for awesome apple cider. And then take about 10 gallons home with us.

Yakima Fair

2008-10-12T20:14:00.000-07:00

Yeah, we like to fair it up.

Puyallup Fair

2008-10-08T19:55:00.000-07:00

Healing

2008-09-27T13:23:00.000-07:00

I guess everyone has stuff in their past that needs healing. Some things are harder to heal from than others. One thing God is teaching me is it takes time and effort to heal. It's not for the faint-of-heart. And I also don't know how people are healed without God to help with the process. I felt like God was telling me this past week that I need to take an additional step towards healing from my past. Counseling. As with painful things in the past the thing we want to do is just bury it and pretend everything is all better. It's hard to bring everything back up but I'm finding out that I probably need to do a more thorough job of this to heal more completely. I know it doesn't mean I won't ever deal with my past again, but I think its needed for more complete healing. I feel like God has healed a ton in me but I know he also wants me to use other people to help further this process. So I sent this email to a friend who I knew was a counselor so we'll see where it goes:

I don't really know how to go about this so here goes nothing. I was sharing some stuff with Ben about a hard day I had last week where some stuff from my past was revisiting me yet again. This is stuff that I feel very much healed from by God but at the same time I get this feeling that I need something more...like maybe counseling. I really hesitate to do this because I have dealt with this crap for so long that I don't want to have to more, but as I'm sure you know with these things you have to deal with everything before you can expect to start dealing with it less. I thought I dealt with all of it, but it seems I didn't. And maybe I need a professional to help me with the rest of it. That's where you come in. When I was sharing this with Ben both of us thought of you. We both trust you and feel like you would be able to help. Now, of course I understand if you have rules in this and can't know your client in other areas of life. I would probably prefer you, but I understand if you need to refer me to someone else. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Please let me know what you think my next step should be.

So, my past baggage? It was an inappropriate relationship with my Jr. High youthpastor that lasted from age 12-16. Nothing extreme, but enough to mess me up in ways I don't even know how to articulate. I think I'm more and more realizing that in order to be all God wants me to be I need to face this and take care of it. And part of that means coming to grips with how much this affected me.

Help!

2008-09-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Does anybody know of a GOOD dermatologist?

I went to one almost a year ago and they didn't seem to know much what they were doing. I believe my skin issues are pretty tricky so it would need to be someone who would be able to spot what it is quickly. Because I don't want to fork over $80 for more than one or two visits. Maybe that's too much to ask, but it's worth a try. Please anybody?

Living in community and in a body

2008-09-05T12:20:00.000-07:00

Our friends Rainbow and Jeff have been living with us since the end of June. It's been crazy but also fantastic. There is just something that living with another couple brings into your life than if you're living solo. It of course helps that Rainbow and I are such good friends. Apparently, according to Meyer's Briggs she is my pedagogue. I should've married her :) God sure does have a sense of humor. Ben and I are so completely opposite. In some ways I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm sure we challenge each other like no other. But sometimes the differences can be rather painful.

Living in a body rocks! I had no idea what I was missing these last 27 years. I see so clearly how God intended for us to live interdependently with one another. VERY contrary to what our American culture teaches us to be, which is VERY individualistic. I find it challenging to fight against what comes natural to me in growing up in our culture. God has taken us on a journey that we're still on. I see him directing us every step of the way. HE is placing the body parts together. It's so amazing to see this and be apart of it. It is crazy to actually be able to relate to these verses in the Bible that talk about living in a body: 1 Corinthians 12 and 14. Right now our body consists of 4 couples but I have faith that God will only add to that number whoever He wants and in His timing and in His way. These 4 couples came together completely from God. I don't see how it could've happened any other way.

Some pics of Dove and Memory, Rainbow and Jeff and their girls, Lavinia and Sunshine:

Why I like sweeping my floor more than sex.

2008-09-04T00:01:00.001-07:00

Alright folks here it is the long anticipated for post. This is kind of a complicated issue so I guess I need to preface this post with an explanation of my journey of my perception of sex. I don't think I had a very healthy perception of sex going into marriage. I saw it as a dirty deed that had to get done I guess. My parents barely talked to me about it so I guess I got this idea that it must not be a holy act cause we didn't talk about it. Plus, what I did see was Hollywood's version of sex which is messed up. But the last 8 years of marriage for me has taught me a lot about how to have the right or healthy perception of sex. Ben (go figure) has had a lot to do with this. He kept pursuing the issue with me so I was forced to either have an unhappy marriage or figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I knew in my head that sex was made by God and there should be nothing inherently wrong with it. But I couldn't quite believe this with my heart and it showed in our sex life big time. For the first 6 years of our marriage it was the main area of contention between us. We fought about it at least once a week but usually more. It sucked. I began to resent not only Ben but sex. Uh-oh. I had to go backwards before going forwards I guess. But once I let God shine light on this painful subject I began to start healing. I began to start actually believing in my heart that sex was a GOOD thing. Imagine that. I feel like it's such a deep seeded issue in me. It's actually hard to articulate but I'm trying hard and I hope you're following me. This has been a long journey for me to get where I'm at and I'm still on that journey. Things are definitely still not perfect. Ben and I still (but more on occasion) fight about sex. And this is where the sweeping floors comes in (I know you were wondering about that). So I feel like because of my natural (or maybe unnatural) view of sex I have to continually be working out in my mind and heart what I really believe about sex. Most days I just want to sweep my floor instead. There I said it. But I definitely wouldn't say I never want to have sex it's just less frequent than I want to sweep my floors. And Ben is vice-a-versa. But when it's all said and done I see sex as vital to our relationship. And without it we would be incredibly dysfunctional. I get that. But its frustrating because I have to continually be reminding myself of this. I'll be sweeping my floors (by the way 'sweeping the floors' is just an example but a good one because I'm a bit OCD about it so it comes up a lot) and Ben will say 'do you want to have sex?' And I'll say 'Yeah, maybe, but not right now.' There's this battle always going on in my head at this point. And I know that we should. So usually (these days but not in the past-and this is why it's been a journey) I will say yes because I know that it is so good for us. But my initial reaction is no. Does this even make any sense? I hope so cause if not I'm gonna feel stupid. I think I was peer pressured into posting but all in good will. I need a little kick in the pants once in awhile to just be real and not care what people might think of me. So hopefully this explains some of why I like sweeping my floors more than sex.

The End.
Or the beginning???

ps post your thoughts people cause I'm dying to know what you all are thinking :) You know who you are.

4th of July parade

2008-08-03T17:03:00.001-07:00

I know this is backtracking quite a bit but I'm mostly putting these up for my Mom and sister to see. Dove, Eden and Memory were apart of the parade in Kirkland this year. We normally do the Bothell parade but our neighbor owns a Bridal shop and asked if the girls would model her dresses in the parade. They had a good time, especially Dove. She really got into it as you will see. They were supposed to wave and hand out candy. Normally the candy is thrown, but some kid last year got hit in the eye so they banned the throwing part. Although I heard people still threw the candy. All and all it was a sacrifice for me because normally we come away with bags of candy and this year I had to give it out :)

Eden on a date with her Dad

2008-08-02T14:01:00.000-07:00

Drinking Bubble Tea with tapioca balls mmmmm...

Kicking and Screaming

2008-08-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

Ben and I have created a schedule or rhythm for our day to day lives in an effort to live out our lives more purposefully. We have always had goals for our family but realized very little of these goals were actually being reached without making them apart of our daily schedule. So this is where the kicking and screaming comes in. I do not naturally swing with schedules. They make me feel claustrophobic. But I realized that I CAN adapt but there just will be kicking and screaming going on. And I WILL adapt because I know that big-picture wise this is better for our family as a whole. We've been doing this for the past six months and its been a process. I don't always even realize I haven't been following my schedule until Ben asks me how its going. Some days I forget that there was a schedule. Other days I just throw the schedule out because my house is messy and I want to clean it. Can you tell I don't naturally put a whole lot of worth in a schedule? But I put a lot of worth in a clean house:) However, if I keep forcing myself to see the bigger picture then there is a ton of worth in having a schedule. A few of the things that we have on our weekly schedule are:
walks/exercise with Dove & Eden,
library,
family swim,
homeschooling,
reading time,
date night (Ben and I),
kids date night w/ Dad,
Seven raquetball w/ Ben,
kids discipleship
Every so often we tweak our schedule but these things mostly stay the same.

Mere Christianity: Faith

2008-07-28T23:40:00.000-07:00

I read Mere Christianity about 10 years ago and I just started reading it again. I feel like I'm reading it for the first time because I don't remember much from the first time I read it. I was only 18 and distracted, I guess. I've grown a lot since then. And I wanted to share as best as I can what that looks like now in regards to my faith. Since going through The Story Formed Life discipleship class several times over the last 9 months I feel like my faith was challenged a lot. I was forced to look at what I believe or don't believe and to what degree do I believe it. This caused a lot of doubts in my heart in regards to my faith in God and the Bible. But I feel like God took me through that and produced an even stronger faith than I ever had. Reading C.S. Lewis' chapter on Faith help put some of those experiences into words for me. It helped me understand what was really going on.

"It is not reason that is taking away my faith: on the contrary, my faith is based on reason. It is my imagination and emotions. The battle is between faith and reason on one side and emotion and imagination on the other."

"Now Faith, in the sense in which I am here using the word, is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods."

"That is why Faith is such a necessary virtue: unless you teach your moods 'where they get off,' you can never be either a sound Christian or even a sound atheist, but just a creature dithering to and fro, with its beliefs really dependent on the weather and the state of its digestion. Consequently one must train the habit of Faith."

Since starting to function as a body with other believers I've noticed that this also increases my faith. God knew what He was talking about I guess;)

Hmmmmm...Fasting

2008-06-10T20:13:00.001-07:00

I don't know why it's so hard for me to keep up a blog, but it is!

Part of it is I like to use pictures to tell stuff and all our pics are on Ben's computer and so it's harder to find time to transfer the pics to my computer.

I'd thought I'd just go for it anyways...

Ben and I started the Master Cleanse last Wednesday and only made it to Sunday night. We made buffalo chicken strips and ate them together at 11pm. Believe me, food NEVER tasted so good. It was almost worth it for just that moment. So the reason why we cut it short was that neither one of us was doing it for the cleanse part, well at least that wasn't our first reason for doing it. And if you don't know anything about the Master Cleanse your supposed to do it for 10 days to have the full effect. (I know there's a lot of controversy on whether or not the thing even works or is dangerous...etc.) We both realized that the reason we were doing it was more for fasting purposes. And after four days we both felt that it served its purpose. That was the first time that I ever did any type of hard-core fasting. (I guess it's not as hard-core as not eating anything) Well, I learned a ton! And Ben and I both agreed that we wanted to do something like this on a more regular basis. I learned all the ways I viewed food that were healthy and unhealthy. It made me realize that in a land of plenty (and our human nature) it is so easy to overdue things and use them for the wrong reasons. And I know for me that happens with more than just food. I hope that I can hold onto the things that I've learned. One way to make sure that happens is to keep fasting on a regular basis from things. It's only when you take things away that you realize what a hold it had on you to begin with.

We are starting another discipleship course!

2008-04-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

We are starting another discipleship course.
Called: The Story Formed Life. *This is God's story not ours. We are apart of His story.
Each week has a topic with applicable scriptures that we midrash (discussion with a leader) for about 2 hours. Then we break up into smaller training groups to apply what we learned to our lives in a personal way.

1st week: Creation
2nd week: The Fall
3rd week: The Gospel
4th week: Lordship
5th week: Sonship
6th week: The Holy Spirit
7th week: Disciplined Life
8th week: The Church
9th week: The Kingdom
10th week: Re-Creation

*If you are already a Christian and looking for a way to grow deeper in your faith and exploring what you do believe about these topics this is the place you want to be. And if you aren't a Christian this is a place to get answers and truth from God's Word. Also, this is a doorway if you are interested in a different way (then you may be used to) of living out being the body of Christ to one another (church) and living a common life with fellow followers of Christ (community). You'll hear more about this during week 8: The Church.

*Mini Testimony from Kami: "I've been a Christian for most of my life, but never have I grown in my beliefs and faith as a Christian as I have in the last 6 months. And the biggest reason is because of this class and how God has used it in my life. It's not a magical formula but it really dug into my false belief's about some things and my lack of belief about other things. So I would highly encourage people to come to this class if you don't already have something like this in your life."

It will be at My house in Kirkland.
First week is THIS SUNDAY 6-9pm.
Childcare is provided.
Come check it out. You don't have to commit to all 10 weeks to check it out.
If you are interested contact me on this blog
We would love to have you!

2008-04-18T00:22:00.000-07:00

This is me in a box. I don't know if you've ever heard of the Meyer's Brigg's Personality Test, but I just recently realized who I am...kidding...well sort of. It really has helped me understand myself better. I know it's just a tool, but I want to use it to understand myself better and others. I looked into this for awhile when my brother first introduced me to it like 2 years ago. I never could quite figure myself out, until now. Of course it's not perfect at describing me but it comes pretty darn close and closer than any of the other profiles. For some people the test isn't the best tool, instead you need to read the profile descriptions. I think that's especially the case with people who aren't on the extreme side when it comes to the percentage of the letters. Each letter represents something and there is a percentage tied to that letter (0-100%) I=Introverted N=iNtuition F=Feeling P=Perceiving. There are 16 personality types in all. The other letters are: E=Extroverted S=Sensing T=Thinking J=Judging.

If you care about more in detail about who Meyer's Brigg's says my personality is here is the link: http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP (for some reason I couldn't get the blue link thing to work)

I've been pretty obsessed with it lately so that's probably why I decided to blog about it.
To complete my obsession I should purchase this T-shirt.
It would be pretty funny if everyone wore shirts with their personality letters on them.
Alright I better stop there.
Thanks for humoring me people.

Discipleship Class: "The Story Formed Life"

2008-02-18T14:10:00.001-08:00

So...I wanted to invite anyone who reads this blog and is interested in finding out what it means to be a radical disciple of Jesus Christ to come to my house on March 5 for an informational dinner about what this class is all about. If you are interested or have any other questions email me and I'll send you our address.

This is a class that both Ben and I went out to Kentucky to take with our family for 9 weeks about 5 months ago. Most of the content will probably not be new to you but we found that the methods were really quite effective in helping to transform people that are interested in becoming radical disciples of Christ. There is quite a bit of dialogue and discussion with the intention of digging into Scripture and our own beliefs as opposed to just lecturing or answering form questions. The class takes 9 weeks and will start off with an informational dinner. At the dinner we will explain everything about the class and answer any questions that may arise. There is no cost for the dinner or any course materials. Thanks for reading this. It's something that we're pretty excited about doing with anyone that can make it. If you have any other questions please feel free to contact me and we would love to see you there.

Kami

The Dinner - Come and check it out. We will go over the class and answer any questions...plus there there should be some good food

When - Wednesday March 5th, 7pm

Where - My house

Who - Everyone is invited, feel free to bring guests

RSVP - Email Ben or Kami with your RSVP so we don't run out of food and so we know how many children to provide childcare for.

The Story Formed Life

When - Wednesday Nights at 7pm. The Dinner will be on March 5th and the classes will start on March 12th and go to May 7th. You do not have to come to the dinner to be a part of the class and vice-versa.

Where - My House (Childcare will be provided at Colin & Grace's house 2 blocks away)

Who - Everyone

Adventures in Homeschooling

2008-02-04T23:23:00.001-08:00

So this whole homeschooling thing is really throwing me. It has been really challenging for me. I already knew this but this whole thing has really brought up the fact that I am so NOT confident in myself. I definitely know God is and will teach me so much through all of this but sometimes it hurts. So we are still in the process of piecing everything together but we are following the classical education method and are currently reading the book The Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer.

Very interesting and good stuff. I find myself getting a bit (ok who am i kidding?) a lot overwhelmed at times. I was on the phone today with Ben and told him what I was struggling with and that I find myself wanting to throw the baby out with the bath water. Because I'm thinking either I'm not doing enough or I'm not doing it right. So because that MIGHT be the case we should just put them back in public school cause at least we know they'll learn there. (Yeah, I know totally irrational, but there you have it) So I was telling Ben this and then in the midst of telling him I said "Even if I just work on reading and writing with them one hour a day that is still worth it and it will still work, right?" and he said "Yeah, you're doing a great job, Kami. Keep it up." It was crazy but that was all I needed to hear and I felt better about things. Man, I might need to hear that everyday for awhile, though before I get it through my thick skull.

Gotta love growth!

We were not meant for time

2007-12-27T01:30:00.000-08:00

These pictures were taken the weekend of Memory's birth, 14 almost 15 months ago. The kids are growing up so quickly I feel like sometimes I'm missing it even when its right under my nose. (maybe that's why I'm missing it:) I love looking at pictures of the past, but it usually fills me with a sense of sadness and longing. Its hard to put my finger on why except to realize we were not meant for time. I look forward to the day when we will get to dwell with God without the cage of time. Wow, how crazy wonderful will that be?

This pretty much sums it up:
"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'" Revelation 21:3-4

They are growing up and there is a lot of them!

2007-12-18T00:03:00.000-08:00

My Girls

And..My Boy

okay...so let's be real here

2007-12-14T13:17:00.001-08:00

The reality of having a rash on my face is it made me realize how insecure I am. And how I have put my security in 'looking' a certain way for people instead of the amazing security I know I already have in Jesus. This world has a particular form of what 'beauty' is and it has nothing to do with what God says is beautiful. The only thing that matters to God and ultimately in the end is a heart and life given FULLY to God to transform into His likeness. That's it. Every day I'm faced with the lie that my worth is in what lies around me. This includes how I look. If only I could fast-forward oh let's say 40 years and see that what's in the mirror is not gonna last just like everything else around me. If I could see that every day that might wake me up enough to see through all the bull-shitt this world offers. But instead I'll have to try to remember this as I daily struggle through what it means to have my sole worth in Jesus. Nothing more, nothing less. How's that for some honesty, eh?

Oh, and the dermatologist said I have Rosacea. The best way he described it is adult-onset acne but kinda different than what you would think of when you think of acne if that makes sense. Anyways, he told me to go get some antibiotics (oh joy!) and hopefully that will clear it up. Apparently it can get a lot worse than what I have so it's probably good I'm dealing with it now.

here it is...

2007-12-14T00:07:00.001-08:00

Please read previous post to understand what I'm talking about
And when I get hot then it really flares up all red and stuff. Not fun!

nothing like a rash on a face

2007-12-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

I've been quite blessed my whole life in not having to worry too much about my complexion. However in the last 3 months that kinda changed for me. I developed a rash on my face that progressively got worse. I have NO idea how it got there either. So I finally buckled down and decided I needed to see a dermatologist. I hardly go to the doctor ever so this is definitely a new thing for me. We don't have insurance right now either so I had to figure out how much this whole thing would cost which is impossible to figure out exactly. Anyways, I'm really glad to go in tomorrow cause its the first and hopefully last step I need to take to get this itchy flaming rash off my face.

ps and I would post a pic but that has been hard to do as of late

I'm posting anyways

2007-12-05T22:20:00.000-08:00

Is it just me being retarded or is this blogger thing hard to get the hang of? I really wanted to post pictures but every time I try something seems to go wrong. I figured I don't need to have a picture with every post. People mostly just want to hear what's going on in my life, right? Alright then.

My days have been preoccupied right now with figuring out how to homeschool Dove. That's right you heard it HOMESCHOOL. Now I know what a lot of you might be thinking because I thought the same thing at one time. But over the course of the last couple of months God has really been moving us in that direction and we're really excited to take hold of it. It all started while we were over in Kentucky for the last several months spending time with friends and family. A lot of families that we were in community with over there homeschool their kids (my brother included). Ben got to talk to one guy about the reason his family homeschools and it really impacted Ben. He said the main reason they homeschool his kids is because he wants his kids identity (aside from God) to be their family and not a group of kids at school. What naturally happens is that by the shear amount of time you spend at school with your peers they naturally become your identity. Now don't get me wrong we have nothing against public schools, in fact we were all ready to send Dove back when we really felt the Lord calling us in another direction. I also understand that homeschool is definitely not for everyone and rightly so. However, we feel that it fits perfectly with our family vision and the direction we are heading. The other aspect of how it fits better into our lives is the incredible flexibility of it all. We are basically able to make our own schedule of how our life looks from week to week. Instead of having to work around the 6-7 hr. 5 days a week regular school schedule. This allows us to do so much with the kids. From being able to take them climbing to taking them on dates with their Dad/Mom or just having more family time at home. So this past week I was trying to figure out how in the world was I going to homeschool. Honestly I was very daunted about the whole idea of having to teach her everything myself. And then I found The Family Learning Center in Redmond (next year it will be in Kirkland) This was exactly what I needed. They partner with you in helping you develop a learning plan for you and your child. They offer every kind of class you need there. So you are able to pick and choose which classes you want your child in and which subjects you will work with them at home. So it enabled me to still do homeschooling but not all alone. Plus this center is funded through the school district which is also a huge plus. So I really saw God's hand in all of this. He really fitted the pieces together just right.

We're back!

2007-11-27T15:33:00.000-08:00

From the midwest that is. It's weird being back after all that time. Definitely was and still is a crazy transition. I'm gonna try to update this more often now that we're back. Here are some pictures from our trip. Sorry they are all out of order. Some are from our roadtrip out to the midwest and some are from our actual stay in the midwest and a couple are from our 10 day trip to Europe.

Big sister Dove at a park in St. Lois
Also in Italy
Seven at the Renaissance Fair
Memory is a year old now!
Ben and I on a bike ride in Italy, Florence
Beautiful Austria from on top of Hitler's Eagles Nest
Eden at The Children's Museum
The inside portion of the fleemarket
outside at the fleemarket
At the St. Lois "free" zoo

Family Camp Part 2

2007-09-09T18:49:00.000-07:00

I had to do it in 2 parts cause I'm retarded and don't have the patience to figure out how to do this whole blogger thing correctly. Maybe the next post I'll have it figured out.

Family Camp Part 1

2007-09-09T18:26:00.000-07:00

I'm finally posting pictures of family camp. Eventually I'll get to our road trip as well. We had a good time at Family Camp. It was pretty awesome not having to cook or clean house for a week.
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Goin' on a Road Trip!

2007-08-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

Well, we have quite the adventure planned. It's the craziest thing I've done in a long time. My brother and his family are driving out here in their RV to come to family camp with us next week up at Lakeside Bible Camp on Whidbey Island. Then, their flying back and leaving their RV for us to take all the way to Northern Kentucky (Cincinnati) area. We're planning on stopping at Yellowstone, Denver (where some friends of ours live), a water park and whatever else suits our fancy. I've never ridden in an RV before so this should be fun. The kids are pretty excited about it. Once we get to Kentucky we will stay their for about 2 months. Yeah, I know, that's a long time. My brother has a body church that he's apart of and their doing a 9 week Discipleship training class that Ben and I are pretty stoked about. Plus, my whole family is there now and we have a lot of friends out there now because of my brother helping recruit a lot of people from out there onto our blackjack team. I'm really excited to be apart of this community that I've witnessed (a little) and heard so much about. These people are living and growing in Christ together on a daily basis and its very compelling to want to be around. And all of our other trips out there have only been a couple weeks long so its nice to have such a long chunk of time there. We also have 2 weddings to go to in October. The first one is in Kentucky and the second one is in Northern Italy. Yes, that's right, Eruope. So Ben and I are leaving our 4 kids with my parents and going to Italy/Scotland for 10 days with our good friends Colin & Grace. Soooo looking forward to that. Needless to say we have a busy/fun time coming our way. I'll definitely be missing home after a couple months. I will try to take pictures and post some up periodically of our trip.

the beauty of birth

2007-08-02T16:36:00.000-07:00

I just recently had the privilege of attending/helping out with the birth of Colin & Grace's son. What an amazing experience! Now I know I have had 4 births of my own, but there is something remarkably different and just as rewarding about being an observer/helper instead of the one actually giving birth. I was able to enjoy things that I wasn't able to with my own births because I was so involved in the experience. (go figure!) It's so neat to have been able to be on both sides. I have only made it to one other birth before this and it was only after Dove (my first) was born so since then I have had 3 more babies and I feel like I was able to enjoy this experience all the more. It's crazy how emotionally connected I felt to Grace and what she was going through but at the same time not being physically connected. It was kinda nice for once. :) Just to be able to see the miracle and the joy that giving birth brings brought it all back to me. Thank you Colin & Grace for letting me be apart of something so precious to you.

This is a first

2007-07-26T13:53:00.001-07:00

So I thought I wold join the world of blogging. I'm a little nervous, but I thought it would be worth it to keep in contact with family and friends and a way to get my thoughts out. I've just really enjoyed reading a lot of other people's blogs and thought it was only fair for me to start my own. Hopefully I'll update at least once a week, but we'll see how it goes. I need to figure out how to get pictures on here as that would definitely make it more interesting.

Back to climbing

2007-07-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'm just starting to get back into climbing again after getting pregnant with Memory who is now 9 months old. Our friends Mark and Heather came to stay with us from Cincinnati for a couple weeks and we did quite a bit of climbing. So much that my ankle hurt for a week afterwards. But it was worth it, I think. PS the last picture is yours truly.