My Prayer

I want to have this be my prayer every day. I got this from the Crazy Love book that I'm reading. Which is awesome and you should read it. It really puts life into perspective.

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied
me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious
of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of
desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long
to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee
indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to
my soul, 'Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.'
Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this
misty lowland where I have wandered so long."
A.W. Tozer The Pursuit of God

On Permanent Marker, Repentance, and Intimacy

This happened last night and I wanted to share the email that Ben wrote to a few family and friends. It's a pretty powerful and moving story of God's grace in our lives.


This week I have been lost in thinking about repentance and fostering an intimate lasting relationship with our kids.

Tonight was one of the craziest nights in our families history. We had already put the kids to bed and Dove came into the room crying to talk to Kami and I. She told us that she had drawn on the wall with a permanent marker and had blamed Seven so he had gotten in big trouble. She was referring to an incident that had happened about 4 years ago. More than half of her lifetime. She was crying and she said that, that was "before she knew how serious of a job it was for her to be a leader" in looking out for her younger brothers and sister. It was at this point, that I started to cry. She said that today God had told her that she needed to tell us about the truth "before she got any older." We got Seven out of bed and Dove had the chance to apologize to her brother. Together we prayed and thanked God for the grace he has given us. Seven does not remember getting spanked. But tonight Dove will sleep better in her repentance and acceptance of God's Grace.

******
Ben Crawford

Ps. You can see the marker in the pic that has long since been painted over.

IMG_4618.JPG 477K View Download

What God's been teaching/showing me

11/20/09 Taken from my journal:
I know now one of the reasons we have not been given a fifth child. My will needed to be broken. I wanted that child so much that I really didn't care what God wanted for me. God had to break my will and make my will His will. I needed to be shown this. I now want and desire what God wants. Whatever that may be. I was finding my identity in having children. And having them whenever I wanted to. Ben wondered if he was the one who needed to be broken. It has taken almost a year for me to get to the place where Your will is better than my will. But more that that, my will has become Your will. I was holding onto my will so tightly. Thank you for Your mercy in revealing this to me.