I was reading in Acts 14:1-7 today about a plot to beat up Paul & Barnabas. Paul and Barnabas? They were like super Christians and yet they were completely willing and even grateful to get physically beaten up for God. And then it dawned on me. Jesus did this. But He got it even worse. Hung on a tree for God.
I realized how I am so prideful. Ideally I could die for God, but do I actually welcome this? To become less so God can become greater? In my heart of hearts I want to become greater. I am a god to me. I am more important than God and His kingdom. Lets take this in lesser terms than getting beaten up and dying. How about ridiculed or seen as not so great. Not so popular. Not so smart. Not so talented. Not so pretty. These are the things that actually matter to me. I know Paul & Barnabas were just fallen humans like me and everyone else, but they were completely sold out! They didn't have things (idols) holding them back. Will I ever get there? And what exactly will sold out look like for me? Maybe not death, but maybe. Maybe uprooting my family and moving to Portland to help disciple another family for three months. I see growth in my life. I have a long way to go, but I do see growth. Where do you see growth in your life?
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Very challenging post Kami! I feel very convicted reading it and seeing myself in your words. I think the place where I see some growth, although pretty minor, is in dealing with my attitude when it comes to Kate's colic. These past 8 weeks have been extremely tough for me and it is easy for me to fall into my pity party about how much work she is, how I don't have time for myself, etc. But then I am reminded that God blessed with me her and that somehow he can use this time for his glory. Hope your time in Portland is going great!
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