Our family's journey to Israel part 1

I thought I'd post this on here for my fellow blog readers. Our family decided to go to Israel for a month. We felt like God was leading us here. There are some fellow believers here that need some support. And there seems to be some doors that God is opening up for a ripe harvest here. We don't know yet exactly what we're doing, but we are following the Holy Spirit in all of this.

It was a loooong journey to get here that's for sure. We ended up taking 3 planes to get here. Our first stop was in Memphis. That was a 5 hour plane ride. But our longest plane ride was yet to come. We quickly boarded our plane heading to Amsterdam. This flight took about 10 hours I think. We watched a lot of movies :) That helped pass the time. Once we got into Amsterdam it was our night but Amsterdam's morning. So, needless to say we were a wee bit tired. And we planned a 9 hour lay-over there;) hmmmm still wondering if that was worth it. We found a Children's Museum that was neat for the kids. We probably spent a few hours here. Then we went to a coffee shop where we were to meet a couple of Ben's clients for Epipheo. I know funny. Well these nice people picked a candle lit atmospheric coffee shop where the youngest people there were probably in there 40's. We got there first waiting for them to arrive and within 10 min. all 4 of our kids were completely passed out. We were quite the scene. Ben's clients arrived and we had a nice chat with them over some dinner and coffee. We had to take the kids sandwiches to go. We woke (mostly) the biggest three up and dragged them to the taxi that was waiting to take us to the airport. We got to the airport and ended up carrying Memory all the way through customs. It was quite a task, but finally we all got there and got through that and bunked out in the waiting/holding area until our plane was ready to board. Most of us ended up taking a nap here as well. Memory woke up, though. Bright as a clam. Good timing. Within a half an hour a hundred Israeli people came around us and sat with us waiting to board the plane.

In this moment I all of a sudden had a swell of emotion thinking about these people-God's chosen people who were lost. I felt like in that moment I felt an inkling of what God felt for these people. It was an emotion of compassion, sorrow, loss, and mercy. It was very sudden and quick and gone in a blink of an eye, but very powerful for me to experience. I believe God was helping me connect with what I was about to experience in Israel.

Well, we boarded the plane and Eden had a total and complete emotional melt down. This was difficult for me. I believe it was really good for me. Because I am too worried about what other people think and in this moment I had to think of what my daughter needed and what us as a family needed not just saving face for a bunch of strangers. Of course Eden had to sit in back of the one lady on the plane that had a problem with her emotional melt-down. She called a flight attendant over and speaking in maybe Arabic I don't know, pointed to Eden and probably was asking if she can shut this kid up. Eden wasn't being incredibly loud but it was definitely noticeable that she was crying. The flight attendant came over and was looking for her parents. Ben told her we were right here behind her and the flight attendant told the lady "What do you want me to do. She is crying and the parents are right there. What's the problem?" It was kinda funny. So we definitely ruined this lady's first hour of flight and mine. But like I said this was a good thing for me. I had to keep telling myself that this was her (the lady's) problem and not mine. This flight was only 4 and a half hours, but once we got there we were like the night of the living dead. We got our bags and got some gelato. This was 4am Israel time. We boarded a van/taxi thing that every seat was filled. All six of us piled in the pack of the van. To put it short this 40 min ride to our house we were to stay in was a ride from hell compared to the last 30 hours of travel. And that's saying a lot! This guy drove like a maniac speeding around corners and stopping and going really fast over bumps. All of us were starting to feel nausious by the end. Mercifully, we were the third to get dropped off out of like eight. He dropped us off and we weren't even sure if this was the right place. Ben went to go find out and I was with the kids and the luggage. I then proceeded to drop on all fours and felt like I was going to throw up but was trying to keep it together. Dove asked if I was okay. "Yeah, I'm okay." In a few minutes I was feeling better and Ben came back and told us that this was it. Praise God!!! was all I could say.

We crashed for about 4 hours and woke up to Stephen and Tiffany knocking on our door. They were going to take us to the old city which is about a 15 min. walk from our house. This was good because we needed to stay up during the day to help get adjusted to the new time. They took us all over and it was really neat. We saw the Western Wall and went and ate in old town Jerusalem. By about 5pm I and the rest of us hit a wall. We managed to stay up until 9 and put the kids down around 8. That first night was a little difficult with all of us waking up around 4 wondering if it was time to wake up. It wasn't so we all forced ourselves back to sleep.

Anyways, this is getting really long so if you want more let me know and I'll email a part 2 of the last few days here in Jerusalem. But all in all it has been really neat to be here. And I'm excited about what God has in store for us to be apart of.

And then there were 5

That's right, I'm pregnant and soon to be the owner of 5 children! Ben and I feel so blessed! God's timing is perfect. I'm due sometime Feb. 2. I had horrible morning sickness with Memory and that hasn't started yet. I've just had pretty minor sickness. So here's hoping it stays that way.

This timing is kind of crazy because when we found out we were pregnant a few weeks ago, Ben said, "We were just getting this 4 kids thing down." So just when you get too comfortable God shakes things up a bit. I think both Ben and I had resigned and moved on from having another child at this point. So to be given this was quite a shock. A good shock, though.

My Prayer

I want to have this be my prayer every day. I got this from the Crazy Love book that I'm reading. Which is awesome and you should read it. It really puts life into perspective.

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied
me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious
of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of
desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long
to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee
indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to
my soul, 'Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.'
Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this
misty lowland where I have wandered so long."
A.W. Tozer The Pursuit of God

On Permanent Marker, Repentance, and Intimacy

This happened last night and I wanted to share the email that Ben wrote to a few family and friends. It's a pretty powerful and moving story of God's grace in our lives.


This week I have been lost in thinking about repentance and fostering an intimate lasting relationship with our kids.

Tonight was one of the craziest nights in our families history. We had already put the kids to bed and Dove came into the room crying to talk to Kami and I. She told us that she had drawn on the wall with a permanent marker and had blamed Seven so he had gotten in big trouble. She was referring to an incident that had happened about 4 years ago. More than half of her lifetime. She was crying and she said that, that was "before she knew how serious of a job it was for her to be a leader" in looking out for her younger brothers and sister. It was at this point, that I started to cry. She said that today God had told her that she needed to tell us about the truth "before she got any older." We got Seven out of bed and Dove had the chance to apologize to her brother. Together we prayed and thanked God for the grace he has given us. Seven does not remember getting spanked. But tonight Dove will sleep better in her repentance and acceptance of God's Grace.

******
Ben Crawford

Ps. You can see the marker in the pic that has long since been painted over.

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What God's been teaching/showing me

11/20/09 Taken from my journal:
I know now one of the reasons we have not been given a fifth child. My will needed to be broken. I wanted that child so much that I really didn't care what God wanted for me. God had to break my will and make my will His will. I needed to be shown this. I now want and desire what God wants. Whatever that may be. I was finding my identity in having children. And having them whenever I wanted to. Ben wondered if he was the one who needed to be broken. It has taken almost a year for me to get to the place where Your will is better than my will. But more that that, my will has become Your will. I was holding onto my will so tightly. Thank you for Your mercy in revealing this to me.

Super-Star Christians?

I was reading in Acts 14:1-7 today about a plot to beat up Paul & Barnabas. Paul and Barnabas? They were like super Christians and yet they were completely willing and even grateful to get physically beaten up for God. And then it dawned on me. Jesus did this. But He got it even worse. Hung on a tree for God.
I realized how I am so prideful. Ideally I could die for God, but do I actually welcome this? To become less so God can become greater? In my heart of hearts I want to become greater. I am a god to me. I am more important than God and His kingdom. Lets take this in lesser terms than getting beaten up and dying. How about ridiculed or seen as not so great. Not so popular. Not so smart. Not so talented. Not so pretty. These are the things that actually matter to me. I know Paul & Barnabas were just fallen humans like me and everyone else, but they were completely sold out! They didn't have things (idols) holding them back. Will I ever get there? And what exactly will sold out look like for me? Maybe not death, but maybe. Maybe uprooting my family and moving to Portland to help disciple another family for three months. I see growth in my life. I have a long way to go, but I do see growth. Where do you see growth in your life?

sisters

This is a conversation I overheard between Dove & Eden the other day in the car:

Eden: "When we grow up and if we live together..."
Dove: (cuts in abruptly) "Oh, we will definitely live together! But I don't want to be one of those girls who is alone all the time like Uncle Nate who lives in that big house all by himself. I want to have a big family."

This was one of my proudest moments as a mother.

Keep the dream alive girls.