The reality of having a rash on my face is it made me realize how insecure I am. And how I have put my security in 'looking' a certain way for people instead of the amazing security I know I already have in Jesus. This world has a particular form of what 'beauty' is and it has nothing to do with what God says is beautiful. The only thing that matters to God and ultimately in the end is a heart and life given FULLY to God to transform into His likeness. That's it. Every day I'm faced with the lie that my worth is in what lies around me. This includes how I look. If only I could fast-forward oh let's say 40 years and see that what's in the mirror is not gonna last just like everything else around me. If I could see that every day that might wake me up enough to see through all the bull-shitt this world offers. But instead I'll have to try to remember this as I daily struggle through what it means to have my sole worth in Jesus. Nothing more, nothing less. How's that for some honesty, eh?
Oh, and the dermatologist said I have Rosacea. The best way he described it is adult-onset acne but kinda different than what you would think of when you think of acne if that makes sense. Anyways, he told me to go get some antibiotics (oh joy!) and hopefully that will clear it up. Apparently it can get a lot worse than what I have so it's probably good I'm dealing with it now.
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6 comments:
Kami, I think you're beautiful "no matter what"...and I mean it, too. :)
thanks, Erin.
So did they mention anything about the plague being genetic?
Probably not, right? I'm sure it was the Ludkinhoffs. I think I might be allergic to vegetarians too. :)
Just eat at McDonalds every night a week and the antibiotics in the meat will clear everything up just great.
By the by, when you say "bull-shitt" does the double "t" make it NOT a swear word?
I hate to break the news to you but it does have a genetic component to it. And after I went to the dermatologist and he told me what it was I had I was talking to mom about it and then she was talking to dad about it and dad says 'oh yeah, my Dr.. has told me I have it at times' and mom said 'I thought it was just razor burn all these years' And so I'm thinking great communication mom & dad. :) all these months I was wondering what the hel I had (yes one l makes it not a swear word) when all along it was right under my nose.
That would be a great excuse to go to McDonalds except for the fact that Ben would never let me spend our money on their crap.
That is so funny about the swear word on my blog being misspelled cause (now this is embarrassing) I was trying really hard to remember how 'shit' was spelled and kept going back and forth from one l to two l's and finally settled on one l. And low and behold it was wrong. Gosh, if I'm gonna swear on my blog I should probably spell it right cause I wasn't trying to be trendy and misspell it like everyone else does. grrrrr!
Oh, and then if I ate at McDonald's I'd have a whole other list of health problems that would be a lot worse than this stinkin' rosacea.
hmmm...that's not encouraging. I think I'll go with the razor burn explanation and live in denial.
(by the by, hell has two ls) :)
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